


One Hundred Calories (and One Hundred Words)

by EmilyFairy



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Cute, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Humor, M/M, No wives, Post Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-28
Updated: 2006-05-28
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:09:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyFairy/pseuds/EmilyFairy
Summary: A series of drabbles in which Colin somehow manages to convince Ryan to star in a Snack Fairy commercial with him. But things don't exactly go according to plan.





	One Hundred Calories (and One Hundred Words)

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2006 when it was actually culturally relevant, haha. A series of Snack Fairy drabbles.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Ryan said, glaring at his partner in crime.

"Oh, you look great and you know it," Colin said.

"I feel like a girl," Ryan muttered, but Colin wasn't about to give him any sympathy. He'd been playing the girl for years. 

"You get used to it," Colin said, shrugging. 

"I will _never_ get used to it," Ryan said, looking as if he wanted to sink into the ground.

Colin patted him on the shoulder. "Come on," he said. "We have work to do."

"More like torture," Ryan said, sulking down at the black tutu.

And Colin thought to himself that he'd never seen a more handsome Evil Snack Fairy.

***

In between takes, Ryan smoothed down his tutu, grumbling to himself. Dressed completely in black from head to toe, Ryan looked dark and a little forbidding. It didn't help matters that he was pouting, lips pursed, nostrils flaring while he puffed on cigarette after cigarette.

"Oh, stop it," Colin said from beside him. "No one's buying your little diva act. It's okay to be happy and have fun every once in a while, you know."

A snapped wand, a red shoulder bag dangling from a broken strap, and a laughing Colin, upside down, pink tutu hanging over his head, were the only things that made Ryan smile.

***

Colin couldn't believe that Ryan broke his wand. And the Nabisco people weren't too pleased either. Luckily, they had thought to create a back-up.

"I'm sorry," Ryan whispered mournfully, kicking his shiny black shoes in the dirt.

Colin snapped Ryan's tutu and ran through the grass, with Ryan at his heels.

And when they went tumbling down the hill, Colin's khakis got stained green, to match Ryan's eyes. Black and pink tulle tangled together, but Ryan was smiling and Colin didn't mind that he couldn't feel his left leg anymore.

Then he saw the gleam in Ryan's eyes. And he prayed that Nabisco had made multiple back-up wands.

Evil Snack Fairy, indeed.

***

"You know," Ryan said, eyes glittering dangerously while around them various crew people scrambled to erase evidence of the mud fight he and Colin had gotten into. "When you said you'd return the favor someday, I didn't picture this."

Years ago, after Ryan begged the _Whose Line_ producers to give Colin a second chance, Colin had promised he'd make it up to Ryan. Ryan had been hoping ever since...

And what did he have to show for it? Dirty cheeks, a mud-splattered tutu, and Colin, smiling at him in the middle of it all.

And Ryan returned the smile, wondering if he should tell Colin about his sticking-up hair.

***

Colin walked around the park, eyes widening comically as he noted everybody chowing down on greasy, fatty foods.

"This must be the work of my arch-enemy!" he yelled, bounding towards a woman with vacant eyes mindlessly snacking on what looked like a Hostess cupcake.

"She's mine, fairy!" Ryan said, advancing towards Colin. "So back off."

"You!" Colin yelled, flying forward, unable to resist tickling Ryan's belly when they met.

Ryan's eyes drifted down to Colin's wand as he squirmed against Colin. "Don't make me break it again, Mochrie."

"Cut!" yelled the director once again, rolling his eyes.

***

Ryan didn't like it when Colin leaned down to "console" the cupcake woman sitting on the bench. He had to force himself to stay still and not growl, because the director was growing increasingly impatient with all their "little hijinks", as he called them.

The woman's hand crept a little too low on Colin's back for Ryan's liking, and he gripped the bench. 

Oh hell, he didn't care. He was supposed to be the Evil Snack Fairy, right?

He tore the startled woman's hands off of Colin, claiming his rightful ownership, while the director groaned and slumped in his chair.

***

"Will you stop it?" Colin hissed as the fed-up director broke for lunch.

"Stop what?" Ryan asked, a too innocent smile on his face that Colin didn't buy.

"I'm never working with you again if you keep this up!" He meant for it to be teasing, but it came out half serious.

Ryan frowned, dropping his eyes, and Colin instantly felt horrible. "You're mine," Ryan whispered.

Chills shot down Colin's spine and his wand clattered forgotten to the ground as he wrapped his arms tight around Ryan. His goofy, moody, possessive, _wonderful_ Ryan.

"Of course," he said, rubbing the tension from Ryan's shoulders, their tutus swishing together. "Of course I am."

***

Like a little child who knew he'd misbehaved, Ryan tried to hide the broken pieces of the wand, kicking them underneath the bench so the director wouldn't see.

Flimsy, ill-constructed thing. He'd barely _touched_ it.

Heat spread across his cheeks as he remembered pushing Colin back against the wall, intending to prove once and for all that Colin was his, and then… 

"What the hell is this?" the director asked, getting in Ryan's face. "That's the third damn wand you've broken since we started shooting!" 

Ryan's face contorted with anger as he shoved the director backwards. "Fuck this whole thing!" he yelled, storming away.

***

Ryan pillowed his head on Colin's bare chest, twining their fingers together. "Do you hate me now?" he asked.

Colin stroked Ryan's hair off his forehead, murmuring reassuring things into his ear. "Of course not," he soothed, giving his lover a tender kiss. "Who knows? In another ten years, maybe I can even find someone who'll be willing to hire me for commercial work again."

"You can shoot a Progressive commercial with me if you want," Ryan offered, and Colin melted, giving him a quick hug before he closed his eyes. He could never stay angry with Ryan. 

A pair of ripped tutus lay forgotten in a pile on the floor.


End file.
